Bhilala-land: "where no white has gone before"

This past weekend I visited my friend Prashanth, who I know from Pondicherry University. He works for Samaj Pragati Sahayog (SPS) in the Narmada Valley, a few hours south of Indore past the Vindhya Range in Madhya Pradesh. SPS carries out several types of development projects (see the link), and Prashanth works on watershed development projects.

farmland managed by SPS and Bhikupura villagers

The Narmada Valley is not as remote as it feels. It's not far from Indore--only a 2-hour bus ride to Bagli followed by a 30-minute motorcycle drive over a ghat (hill)--but it seems like the middle of nowhere. When Prashanth picked me up in Bagli, we saw a procession of uniformed policemen playing instruments followed by a group of traditionally-dressed Muslims. We still don't really know what was going on.


procession of policemen (I think?) and Muslim men through the streets of Bagli

When we reached the SPS campus in the village of भिकुपुरा (Bhikupura), Prashanth gave me a quick tour: farmland, cows, biogasifier, etc. After dinner, we went stargazing. I haven't seen so many stars since... I don't even remember when. It was amazing. I could spot the Big Dipper! (Usually I can only find Orion. Or, in Delhi, zero stars.) It was unbelievably quiet, which is a very strange feeling in India. I could even hear crickets!! Prashanth found it a bit odd when I said the sound of crickets reminded me of home, of Maryland.

The next day we explored various tribal villages via motorcycle. Don't worry, Mom, I was wearing a helmet! We drove through recently-harvested fields and dry forest. The Narmada Valley gets very little rain, so when it is not monsoon season, everything is brown. Crops that grow here include wheat, cotton, chilli, and some others. Wheat, the biggest crop, was recently harvested, only a week or so before I arrived. Therefore most of the fields I saw were devoid of crops.

The people in this area are adivasi (tribal) and belong to the Bhilala, Bhil, Korku, and Barela tribes. Traditionally these tribes were hunter-gatherers who lived in the forest, but after independence the Government of India pushed them to enter mainstream agriculture. However, they did not have any land--except the forest they lived in. So the adivasis cut down forest to make room for their crops.

Agriculture finally took off in this region only about ten years ago, in the 1990s, when a Naxalite/Maoist leader came to Narmada Valley to bring reform and, of course, recruit people to the Naxalite/Maoist cause. However, the Madhya Pradesh police killed the top 5 Maoist leaders, either in a shootout or by firing squad (sorry, I don't remember which Prashanth said! But they were definitely shot). After their executions, the Maoist movement lost its momentum, though a memorial for these men was built. Today the Narmada Valley is one of the few tribal regions not under Naxalite control.

(Note: all of this information is from Prashanth. So if anything is wrong, blame him! Haha.)

Even though there are four tribes in the area, everyone I met was a member of the Bhilala tribe. The women had several tattoos: a pyramid made of 10 dots (4-3-2-1) on the chin, 2 exaggerated crow's feet on each eye, siblings' names on the wrists, and other geometric designs on the wrists and ankles. Some women wore giant bangle-like anklets, and for special occasions they wear big necklaces made of coins. They drape their saris a little differently than I'm used to, and many women cover their hair and even faces with their saris. Many men had earrings, and male members of the Korku tribe wear turbans, similar to the dotted, twirled Rajasthani ones.

Some of these tribes speak a language called Nimadi, which Prashanth says is similar to Hindi, and everyone understands and speaks Hindi as a second language. I couldn't understand anything they were saying, even when they were speaking Hindi, because their accent is very different from Delhi Hindi. But that's ok, because they couldn't understand my accent either. They told Prashanth, "we think she's speaking Hindi, but we can't understand her!"

Most of the houses were kachcha houses, which means they are made of natural materials and not as permanent as, say, concrete or bricks. A kachcha house is held up by a bamboo frame, stuffed with straw, and covered in a plaster made of a mud-and-cow dung mix. So one could say that their houses are literally made of sh*t. Or at least partially.

Prashanth told me that I was going "where no white has gone before," that no white person had ever visited these villages. I don't know if I really believe this--what about the British?--but I could easily believe that not many white people visit the area. I found it odd that almost nobody asked me the usual "which country, madam?" (Or the Hindi or Nimadi equivalent.) Since they weren't asking questions about my being a foreigner, I asked Prashanth where they thought I was from, if perhaps they thought I was Indian but from a place where people are more fair-skinned, like from Punjab or Kashmir. Prashanth responded that anybody beyond the Narmada Valley was considered a foreigner, that a Punjabi or Kashmiri would be just as foreign to these adivasis as an American. In fact, when he first came to the villages, they asked him which country he was from! And he's from Bangalore! I thought it was pretty interesting that I wasn't necessarily thought of as more foreign than Prashanth.

I wanted to post more pictures here, but alas Blogspot's image uploader hasn't been working for me recently. To see photos of the tribal villages, click here. (Note: you do not need a Facebook account to view these pictures. This is the public link.)

Kerala, here I come!

I am finally going to തിരുവനന്തപുരം / Thiruvananthapuram (Trivandrum), the capital of Kerala. I leave Tuesday, April 13. (Yes, I was told this only 3 work days in advance. Typical.) I don't know how long I'll be there, but I've been told a minimum of 4 to 6 weeks. I'm ready for some change--and some excellent dosas--so I'm very excited!

What will I be doing in Trivandrum? Well, I have sort of been told, but things always change, so I'll post about what I'm doing later when I've actually started doing it. ...if that makes any sense.

Autowallahs on strike

As you all know, I take an autorickshaw (affectionately called "auto" by all) to work every day. The streets of Delhi are always crawling with autos, and I rarely have a problem getting one to work in the morning.

Today was different. Today, I did not see a single auto, neither in Jangpura nor on the main road, for 15 minutes. This was perhaps the strangest sight I have ever seen in Delhi. I knew something was wrong. Finally, I flagged down a regular taxi (something I have actually never done before in Delhi). After all, I had to get to work somehow.

It turns out the autowallahs are on strike today. The strike is 24 hours, and if their demands aren't met, the strike will continue for several hours each day indefinitely (I have been unable to find out which hours--hopefully not when I have to go to work!). Their demands are completely reasonable:

1. Fares should be increased. Fuel prices are increasing, but fares are not. Additionally, the meter should include waiting time, such as when they are sitting in traffic jams. (I have always found it odd that the meter does not already include this.)

2. Autorickshaw stands and shelters should be provided by the government. (I don't know if I've ever seen a marked autostand, and I've always wondered why there aren't any.)

3. Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dixit's statement that autorickshaws will be phased out in Delhi should be withdrawn. (She's an idiot. Tens of thousands of commuters depend on autos, and the autowallahs have limited means to make a living.)

Here is an excellent article about the plight of autowallahs that I highly recommend you read: http://www.indianexpress.com/news/autometersforthepeople/594330/

I really hope their demands are met, because my life cannot operate without autos. I take them everywhere. The metro will probably not be open in South Delhi until after I leave, and despite being on the BRT, no convenient buses stop by Jangpura. Taking a taxi could cost three times as much as taking an auto. Cycle-rickshaws are convenient for travel within Jangpura and Lajpat Nagar, but they aren't a realistic travel option for longer distances (I just feel bad for the guys, really). So yes, my life is entirely dependent on autos. And even though I always bitch about how they rip me off, etc, I do understand that the entire system sucks for them. I stand by you, autowallahs!

Cricket fail for us, power trip win for policewoman.

I am very angry right now.

Alice and I tried to go to the Delhi Daredevils vs. Rajasthan Royals IPL (Indian Premier League) cricket game tonight, and I was super psyched about it. I say "tried" because they wouldn't let us in. Why? Because we had cameras.

The policemen said we could leave our cameras with them. Alice asked if they had any lockers, and they said no. Well, leaving our camera without any real security system (no lockers, no left luggage-type place with cubbies and a guy giving out numbered tags, nothing of the sort) would just have been asking for our cameras to be stolen. And it had taken an hour in an auto to get to the stadium, so it's not like we could have gone home to drop off our cameras and then come back.

What's most ridiculous is that cameras aren't actually prohibited. Both the back of the ticket and the IPL ticket website say the following:

"Fire crackers, cigarettes, helmets, alcohol, food, drinks, bottles of any kind, lighters, matchboxes, tins, cans, metal containers, mirrors and other banned substances [I assume this means drugs] are strictly prohibited inside the stadium."

There is no mention of cameras on that list.

However, a policeman insisted that the back of the ticket does say no cameras allowed. Well, I'm not convinced he's fluent in English (and the ticket is only in English), considering that he was talking to two white girls in Hindi. We turned over the ticket and saw that the writing is tiny. I have never seen such small writing--I swear we would have needed a magnifying glass to read it properly. Anyway, it had the above clause printed on it, and a separate clause that says "the use of cameras and mobile phones is prohibited." But it does not say that such items are prohibited inside the stadium! We tried to promise not to use the cameras, but the policeman didn't seem to understand the subtle differences between the two clauses.

Or at least he didn't understand the subtle difference for cameras. He understood the difference perfectly well for mobile phones--the policemen were allowing mobile phones inside, despite the fact that they were mentioned in the same clause as cameras! In fact, a policewoman told us that even a cameraphone is permissible. Um, if that's the case, then why not allow regular cameras?! They do the same damn thing! Sometimes there is just zero logic in this country.

I tried to nonchalantly sneak in when the particularly mean policewoman was occupied (it was fairly obvious that the male police officers didn't care that much and probably would have let us sneak in after all our bitching), but she must have eyes on the back of her head or something, because she ran after me, grabbed me hard by the wrist, and dragged me back to the entrance. (Apparently, policewomen in India like to do this.) At that point Alice and I gave up, walked out, and decided to go to India Gate for some ice cream.

So now I have a theory about Indian policewomen. They just want to exert power over people, because they rarely get to. In Bikaner, the policemen sat back and didn't appear to give a damn about the situation (and tonight in Delhi, they certainly cared a lot less than the policewomen)--male officers don't deal with female "criminals." But for the policewomen, this was their time to shine. They only deal with females, and there are probably fewer cases involving females than involving males; they probably rarely get to do what they joined the police force to do. Plus it's not like these women can exert power when they're at home; India is largely a male-dominated society, so they are likely subject to their husbands at home. So their hunger for power is building up with no release, except in the rare case of a female "criminal." There aren't enough real criminals to exert their power over, so they have to make up situations to bully people--and the easiest targets are unsuspecting foreigners (they probably understand that foreigners are more likely to comply and give in to their power trips than Indians are, for a variety of reasons). Well, I'm no longer unsuspecting. Now I am extremely suspecting.

(By the way, I saw an Indian woman walk into the stadium with a camera. That's why I'm saying we were targeted as foreigners tonight. And it was beyond obvious that I was targeted as a foreigner in Bikaner--no Indian would have been put under hotel arrest during Holi.)

This is just a theory, and I came up with it while pretty pissed off, so take it with a grain of salt. It might be totally wrong.

Anyway, I never got to see the cricket game I was so excited about (and spent so much money and time on--due to the stupid rule that e-tickets are not real tickets and you must pick up your tickets from the stadium box office between 10am and 5pm the day before the game, I had to skip out of work for 2 hours yesterday and then stay late in the office to make up the work).

Needless to say, though I already said it multiple times, I am angry.

Another weather forecast

Today in Delhi: "widespread dust"

...I didn't even know "widespread dust" could be a weather forecast! Also, I love Weather.com's graphics.

Weather forecast

I just checked the weather. It is going to be 104 degrees F this weekend.

...and it's only March.

I'm terrified for the summer.

The Quest for Dosa in Delhi

You may have noticed that my "About Me" says I'm "on a quest to find the best masala dosa this side of the Ganges." Well, there are A LOT of dosa places west of the Ganges, so I have limited my quest to Delhi. This page tracks my quest. Note that the number of times I visited a restaurant does not necessarily reflect the quality of the dosa; rather it reflects the distance from my apartment and my laziness.


Already tried:
Sagar (Defence Colony) - 4 times
Naivedyam (Kalkaji) - 1 time
Saravana Bhavan (Janpath) - 3 times
Madras Cafe (Green Park) - 1 time
Banana Leaf (Connaught Place) - 1 time
Bikanerwala (Lajpat Nagar) - 2 times
Naivedyam (Hauz Khas Village) - 1 time

Have yet to try:
Andhra Pradesh Bhavan Canteen (Connaught Place)
Tamil Nadu Bhavan Canteen (Chanakyapuri)
Dakshin (Kalkaji)
Madras Coffee House (RK Puram)

The biggest loser (thus far) is...
Banana Leaf (Connaught Place) 
 
And the winner (thus far) is...

Naivedyam (Hauz Khas Village)!


New Feature: Photo(s) of the Day

I will try to post a random photo or two on a somewhat-daily basis. (Ha! We'll see how long that lasts. Well, I can try anyway.) Click on "Photo(s) of the Day" above. To return to written blog posts, click on "Home."

Lost and Found: Christmas in the Abode of the Clouds

I was going through all my blog entries today because (1) I'm bored and (2) I wanted to see what I forgot to write about. Well, I found a lost post! Apparently I wrote an entire blog post about Christmas in Shillong with Ben and Joel but forgot to click "Publish Post." So, I'm clicking "Publish Post":

As part of our Northeast adventure, Ben, Joel, and I went to Meghalaya, which means "Abode of the Clouds." We went to Shillong and Cherrapunjee, called Sohra in Khasi. Cherrapunjee is where we went hiking to the living root bridges (see my previous post about this incredible hike).

Getting to Shillong, which Ben and Joel affectionately called "shlong," took longer than anticipated. Our flight from Delhi to Guwahati, the biggest city in Assam and the gateway to Northeast India, was delayed two hours. Then our shared sumo (jeep--called sumo after the original Tata Sumo; kind of like how we might call tissues "kleenex" or in-line skates "rollerblades") took 5.5 hours instead of 3 hours to get to Shillong. This delay was caused by a "खराब गाड़ी"/"kharaab gari," or broken-down car, that had blocked the highway. By the time we reached Shillong, it was pretty late at night and we had missed the Christmas Eve celebrations, which are supposed to be awesome (and which were the reason we were going to Shillong at this time in the first place).

Police Bazaar, the commercial center of Shillong, is lit up for Christmas.

The next day, because it was Christmas and Meghalaya is a Christian state, everything was closed. Actually, Shillong is supposed to have amazing Christmas celebrations--everyone told me it's the best place to be in India for Christmas--but this year due to the economic crisis the Christmas Day celebrations were cancelled. Unfortunately, I was unaware of this. So we didn't have that much to do. We decided to check out the view from Shillong Peak, but it was totally cloudy and we couldn't see anything. Well, I suppose this is the clouds' abode, so perhaps we should have expected that.

This sign at Shillong Peak says "Don't urinate around the place." But it says nothing about pooping.

We went to a Khasi market called Iew Duh. Most of the stalls were closed for Christmas, but there were still some people selling live chickens. Hens cost Rs 100-200 (US$2-4), but roosters could cost up to Rs 400 (US$8). I'm fairly certain these chickens were meant for eating, not egg-producing.

A Khasi woman shows us a delicious rooster. Those baskets are holding live chickens.

There you have it, my lost post. At some point I should probably write about the Khasis' killer Michael Jackson moves. After all, Shillong is the rock capital of India. (Though they actually performed their MJ dances to traditional Khasi folk music, and this was in Cherrapunjee, not Shillong.) Or better yet, I should post the video. Stay tuned.

Splishin' and a splashin'

Today I went to IIT-Delhi for a meeting (TERI is collaborating with some professors there on the cookstoves project). I can't share what went on in that meeting (which is unfortunate because it was quite dramatic), but I'll share a funny pre-meeting story.

When we arrived at IIT, I had to pee. Like really badly. So I asked the only female in the room (a research assistant to one of the professors) where the ladies' bathroom was. Because the hallways of IIT are a little confusing, she escorted me to the bathroom rather than giving me directions.

There were two stalls, one Western and one Indian (squat). I looked around and couldn't find toilet paper or even paper towels anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't have any toilet paper on me (I usually do) because TERI's bathrooms provide toilet paper and I didn't expect to be leaving TERI today. So I asked the woman if there was somewhere I could get toilet paper.

She didn't seem to understand what my problem was. "Do you not need the toilet anymore?"

"No, I do. But I need toilet paper. Is there somewhere nearby I can get some?" (I noticed a toilet paper holder nailed to the wall, so I thought maybe there was a supply closet somewhere or a custodian we could ask.)

The woman leaned in very close and whispered, "are you having... [pauses, shifts her eyes back and forth to see if anyone else is around] ...the period?"

Trying not to laugh: "No, no. I just... I wipe. I never figured out the splashing technique."

The woman just stared at me and looked totally confused. She clearly had no idea what to do.

"It's ok. I can just hold it in."

"But that is very... [struggling to come up with the right word] ...uncomfortable."

"That's ok. I'll be home soon."

On the way back to the conference room, the woman suddenly blurted out, "did you mean that napkin-type paper that wraps around a cardboard roll?"

It didn't occur to me that she didn't know what I meant by "toilet paper."

"Yes, that's toilet paper. I'm used to using toilet paper. That's how we clean up where I come from."

"Oh. See, we must have a German toilet. You're used to the American toilet."

I had absolutely no idea what she meant by this. "What??"

"Yes, the Germans splash too. But they splash in a different way than us Indians. See, that's why we don't have those napkin rolls. It must be a German toilet. You must splash."

Any Germans out there: is this true? Do you splash rather than wipe? If I ever go to Germany, should I carry around my own rolls of toilet paper?

A correction

In an earlier post, I had said that Will used the verb घूमना (ghoomna) to describe a wallet getting lost as the wallet "wandering" (ghoomna means "to wander"). Apparently I misunderstood. He actually said गुमना (gumna, without aspiration on the g and with a short u rather than a long oo). Gumna means "to disappear" or "to get lost." Sorry Will, and sorry to anyone trying to learn Hindi! (Though learning from my blog is probably a really bad idea.)

A funny conversation

On my way home from the tailor in Bhogal, I had a funny conversation:

Random Indian man walks up to me: Hello, are you lost?
Me: No, I'm walking home.
Random Indian Man (RIM): I see. Do you live in Jangpura?
Me: Yes.
RIM: Where are you from?
Me: मैं अमरीका से हूँ। (I am from America.)
RIM: I speak English.
Me: I just like practicing my Hindi.
RIM: Well, you don't have to with me.
Me: Fine. Since you asked me, where are you from? Are you from Kashmir?
RIM: Yes! How did you know?
Me: Well, if you live in Jangpura, you can only be from Punjab, Kashmir, or Afghanistan. And your accent sounds Kashmiri. [note: I think Kashmiri accents are very distinct.]
RIM bursts into laughter as if I've said the funniest joke he's ever heard. He continues to laugh.
Me: What's so funny?
RIM: You're so observant! But you left out a group.
Me: What, foreigners?
RIM: Yes! They have been flooding Jangpura.
Me: Yeah, I know there are a lot of foreigners in this neighborhood, but I actually rarely see them.
RIM: I see white faces all the time! Especially compared to a year ago.
Me: I guess a lot of people are coming to India these days, and there isn't enough room in Defense Colony for all of us!
RIM starts laughing again.
RIM: Do you want to grab some chai with me?
Me: Why, are you going to try to sell me a pashmina shawl or a Kashmiri rug?
RIM: No... (pause) but how did you know I run a shop that sells those things?!
This time I was the one bursting into laughter.
Me: Because you're Kashmiri!!


[Note: for those of you who don't get why this is hilarious, tons of Kashmiris own "emporium" shops that sell pashmina shawls, Kashmiri rugs, and other handicrafts. And these Kashmiri salesmen always offer you chai. The chai is an integral part of their sales strategy, which is quite effective for unsuspecting foreigners.]

Follow-up to the previous post

Before you read this post, please read the previous post, if you haven't already.

A few questions have come up regarding my "arrest":

Q: Why did the police seek you out, and why did they want to hotel-arrest you?

A: There are two possibilities.

1. They were looking for a bribe. They probably thought I would offer them money to be freed. And yes, this thought crossed my mind at the time. However, I did not have any money on me--any cash surely would have been rendered unusable in the water-and-colors-throwing. In any case, I had no way to replenish my supply of cash, since my wallet and thus my ATM cards had been lost the week earlier, and I was down to Rs 200 ($4). (Mom, don't worry, this was more than enough to get me home--I only spent 60 of those rupees--and I have since gone to the bank in Delhi to get more cash.)

2. They wanted to exert their power over someone. And I was an easy target, being a foreigner and all.

But to be totally honest, I really have absolutely no idea. I didn't do anything wrong!

Q: How did the police find you?

A: Many people in Bikaner knew I was headed to Lakshminathji Mandir, because I had asked around where the best place for women to celebrate Holi was, and everyone gave this same answer. Once I decided this was the place to go, I asked several people for directions. And everyone within earshot eavesdrops when a foreigner speaks, especially when she's speaking in Hindi (even if it's nothing more than "Where is Lakshminathji Mandir?" and "Is it this way or that way?"). So probably a few dozen people knew I was headed to this temple. I'm assuming someone "reported" me, or something.

Q: Weren't you scared? You seem deceptively calm in your description of events.

A: No, I wasn't scared. What was there to be afraid of? That they were going to put me in jail? Nope, they had no grounds for that. That the male police officers offering me bhang in the back of a jeep would molest me or worse? No way, because they would be afraid of me reporting that to the media. They just wanted to have a little fun with a foreigner, but they weren't going to actually do anything to me. Besides, the whole situation was so ridiculous I couldn't stop laughing in my head (even though I was pissed).

Q: Show us the turban-helmet picture!

A: Ok. Here it is:

that kurta (and my skin) used to be white. and that turban is, apparently, a helmet.

More Bikaner and Holi pictures to come, in a later post.

Holi under hotel arrest

शुभ होली! Happy Holi!

Today is Holi, the Hindu festival of throwing colors (colors = colorful powders) and water on everyone and everything. It is a very fun holiday and I'll talk more about it in the next post.

Right now I'm in my hotel in Bikaner, Rajasthan under hotel arrest. Or at least that's what I call it, since I'm not allowed to leave the hotel, police orders. While I'm stuck here for several hours anyway, I figured I would blog (and stain the keyboard with my colorful Holi fingers in the process).

I was in Lakshminathji Mandir, a Hindu temple in Bikaner's old city, watching the Holi puja and partaking in the colors-throwing, singing (ok I was only clapping along), dancing, and Indian sweets-eating. It was a lot of fun (more to come about this celebration in the next post) when all of a sudden police storm the temple and two female officers grab me by the wrists and drag me out of the temple.

Police woman #1: आप क्या कर रही हैं? (What are you doing?)
Me: मैं होली मना रही हूँ! (I am celebrating Holi!)
Police woman #2, look of shock on her face: आप हिन्दी बोलती हैं! (you speak Hindi!)
Me, rolling my eyes because if they didn't think I knew Hindi, they shouldn't have talked to me in Hindi in the first place: मैं हिन्दी सीख रही हूँ | (I am learning Hindi.)
Police woman #2: क्या आप के पास हिन्दी में Ph.D. है?! (Do you have a Ph.D. in Hindi?!)
Me, trying to hold in the laughter because I've said only 2 very basic sentences: नहीं | आप मुझे क्यों ले रही हैं? (No. Why are you taking me?)
Police woman #1: मंदिर एक बजे बांध होगा | हमारे साथ आइये | चलो | (The temple will close at 1 o'clock. Come with us. Let's go.)
Me: लेकिन सिर्फ 12:45 हैं। मैं रहना चाहती हूँ | पूजा नहीं ख़त्म करता है | (But it's only 12:45. I want to stay. The puja is not finished.)
Police woman #1: पूजा आप के लिए ख़त्म करता है | चलो चलो | (The puja is finished for you. Let's go, lets go.)

Police woman #1 grabs me by the wrist again and pulls me to a motorcycle. Police woman #2 sits down on the motorcycle and pats the seat behind her.

Police woman #2: बैठो | (Sit.)
Me: नहीं! हम कहाँ जा रही हैं? (No! Where are we going?)
Police woman #2: आपका होटल | (Your hotel.)
Me: मैं helmet के बिना motorbike पर नहीं जाउंगी! (I will not go on a motorbike without a helmet!)
Police woman #1, yelling: हम पुलिस हैं!! बैठो!! (We are the police!! Sit!!)
Me, yelling back: नहीं!! safe नहीं है!! (No!! It's not safe!!) [I don't know the Hindi word for "safe.")
Both police women look really confused.
Me: Danger!
They seemed to understand now.
Police woman #2, switching into broken English: Helmet not allowed on today. Today Holi, no helmet.

During this entire exchange, a huge group of painted people, mostly men, was standing in a circle around us and watching. One purple and pink man approached the police women and gave them his turban (many Rajasthani men wear colorful turbans).

Police woman #1, handing me the turban: यह आपका helmet है | (This is your helmet.)

At this point I couldn't control myself and burst into laughter. All I could think was "helmet fail." But no one else was laughing. They seemed 100% serious.

Police woman #1, yelling in English: Put on the helmet!!

So I put on the turban--er, "helmet." Then a police man, who had been standing in the crowd until now, took my phone. He wanted to take a picture of me in the turban, apparently (that picture will be posted in my next blog entry).

Police woman #2: Now you have helmet. बैठो | (Sit.)
Me: यह turban helmet नहीं है | (This turban is not a helmet.)
Police woman #1: हाँ! यह helmet है! [grabs my wrist again, this time more tightly, and pulls me towards the motorcyle] बैठो!! (Yes! This is a helmet! Sit!!)
Me, pulling my wrist free and yelling: नहीं!! (No!!)
Police woman #2: We are helping you.
Me: मुझे आपकी मदद नहीं चाहिए! (I don't want your help!)
Police woman #2: लेकिन आप अकेली हें | (But you are alone।)
Me: तो? मैं हमेशा अकेली घूमती हूँ | (So? I always travel alone.)
Police woman #1: People drunk. Men will flirt you.

[If flirting is all I have to worry about, then I'm pretty safe.]

At this point a police jeep pulled up to the temple. The back of the jeep had about a dozen police officers, all male. The police women shoved me into the back of this jeep and instructed the driver to take me to my hotel. I told the driver where my hotel is, because at this point I'm obviously not going to be freed. All the policemen just stared at me. And continued to stare at me. Then one police officer seized my phone. He started calling random contacts and blabbering in Hindi. "ROAMING! ROAMING!" I yelled at him, because he was going to quickly spend all my money (my SIM card is pre-paid) and he was bothering my friends. Then he passed around my phone to the other officers so they could look through my pictures, delete my call history, and mess around with the features on my phone (when I finally got it back upon reaching the hotel, my phone was on flight mode and had a new background).

These policemen also offered me bhang lassi. Bhang is basically ground marijuana mixed in milk, and you drink it rather than smoke it. Everyone consumes bhang on Holi, but I thought it was odd that policemen were offering me drugs--especially when they were supposedly protecting me from the drunk people.

(By the way, I knew exactly where in the city male-only drunk Holi was taking place, and I was purposely avoiding it. The Lakshminathji Mandir's Holi celebration is meant for families, and I was surrounded by women and children there. It was definitely safe.)

The hotel employees looked super nervous when they saw the police jeep pull into their driveway. The police instructed them not to let me leave the hotel. They asked what happened, and the police said "we found her celebrating Holi at Lakshminathji Mandir." The hotel guys looked totally dumbfounded, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with this and they could not understand why the police took me away (I don't understand it myself). As soon as the policemen left, they laughed and told me how stupid the police are. I responded, "हाँ, यह बकवास है!" ("Yes, this is bullshit!") and they laughed in agreement.

Then I spent 2 hours talking to the hotel employees in Hindi (or rather, trying to). When I became mentally exhausted from all the Hindi, I went to their Internet cafe. And here I am. My train leaves at 8pm and then I will be free from this hotel arrest!

Why am I a poor blogger? + Jhanvi's solution

Since some people (ok, by some people, I really mean Jhanvi) have been bugging me to update my blog more often, I thought I should give an explanation for my bad blogging habits.

There are not enough hours in the day. I work for 8 hours a day, and then I have a Hindi lesson three evenings a week. If I don't have Hindi lessons, I have Hindi homework. And if I'm not doing Hindi homework, I'm running errands, hanging out with coworkers/friends, planning travel, reading books (that's new! haha), or looking up opportunities for next year. I don't ever sleep.

Blogging is hard. Have you ever tried to select approximately 10 pictures from 400? It's difficult, and extremely time-consuming. This is much harder than actually writing the text of a blog entry. Selecting pictures for my blog can sometimes take up to 5 hours.

Jhanvi suggested that I write brief tidbits rather than long posts like I've been doing, so here it goes:

The number of foreigners at TERI has doubled; we went from 3 to 6. Joel, my hero, left (so many tears), but Michael from the US, Sas (short for Sasanka) from Australia, and Mirjam (pronounced Miriam) from Germany joined us. Michael and Sas live in Jangpura, so I have new neighbors!

Katrina and her fiance Kris are leaving in three weeks. Katrina, don't leave me!! I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without her.

I switched Hindi tutors. My new tutor is able to meet me in the evenings, so no more early morning classes! Yay!

I went to my friend's wedding in Hyderabad. Angela, who is a friend from Pondicherry University, was a gorgeous bride. A few friends from Pondy Uni were there, and I hadn't seen them since leaving over two years ago. It was a nice little reunion. And I wore a sari! Hyderabad was a cool city, and as always, it was nice to be back in South India.

Alice's mom and aunt are in town, as are Sam's parents. Both sets of relatives brought bagels, so I'm pretty happy right now. I even found Philadelphia cream cheese (at The Cheese Ball) and Norwegian lox (in Khan Market)! Yummm. :)

On Saturday night, Alice's mom and aunt took a bunch of Alice's friends out for dinner at Chilli Seasons, a Southeast Asian restaurant in Defense Colony. I ate fish in Thai red curry. My first Southeast Asian meal since... Stanford?? Double Yummm.

For Sam's birthday this past Sunday, her parents took a bunch of her friends out for lunch at a restaurant called Gunpowder in Hauz Khas Village. It was impossible to find, but the food was soooo gooood. If you've never had pumpkin curry, you have to go here. Pumpkin curry is incredible. Triple Yummm.

After Sam's birthday party, I went to Safdarjung's Tomb and Lodi Gardens with Will. We lost my wallet in Lodi Gardens, and that was deeply upsetting. Good bye credit cards, ATM cards, driver's license, keys to my apartment, Stanford student ID, Buddha gift from the Bhutanese monks, and Rs 2000 ($43)! Ugh. Still unclear how this happened. I thought I gave my wallet to Will to hold while I took my camera out of my bag, but he claimed he never had it. I think there was some confusion in the exchange, and the wallet went missing. Then Will and I went to the Lodi Colony police station, but they told us to go to a different, farther station. Will and I wandered around Central Delhi for a really long time in search of this mysterious second station and eventually I filed a missing wallet report. I doubt I'll ever see it again. The only good thing to come out of this was that I learned some Hindi. The Hindi word for wallet is बटुआ/batuaa, which Will mispronounces as बटवा/batvaa (as an English/Konkani/Portuguese-speaking Goan, Hindi is not his native tongue, and I love to give him shit about his Hindi, even though it's infinitely better than mine). Also, I noticed that Will kept using the verb घूमना/ghoomna to mean "lost." This word actually means "to travel" or "to wander" (of course I know this word, haha), so I thought it was interesting that Will was literally saying "the wallet wandered." I asked my Hindi tutor about this the next day, and apparently this is a common way to say that something got lost.

Upcoming travel plans: This coming weekend is Holi and I have Monday off, so I'm going to Bikaner, Rajasthan. My parents are coming in March so I'm going to take two long weekends, one to Bhopal and the surrounding area (Bhimbetka, Sanchi, etc) and one to Dharamsala/McLeod Ganj (I know, I know, it's shameful that I haven't been there yet). I'm also considering going to Jaipur in March, mostly because I feel like I should explore more of Rajasthan before it gets too hot, but I haven't decided yet.

I have a 3-day weekend in April for Good Friday. This is my last 3-day weekend of the year. Where do you guys think I should go? I'm open to all suggestions.

I might write longer blog entries about some of the things listed in the previous entry, and I definitely intend to write about Angela's wedding. Sorry for neglecting my blog, but at least now you understand my negligence.

Jhanvi, I hope you are happy now. ;)

I am a poor blogger.

What I still need to blog about, in no particular order:

- Rest of Orissa trip
- Rest of Northeast trip/Ben's visit
- Delhi Sustainable Development Conference
- some daily life stuff

and from a SUPER long time ago:

- trip to Nepal
- holidays (Chanukah, Thanksgiving, Halloween)

And this weekend I'm going to Hyderabad for Angela's wedding. So I'm only going to be further behind. Eek. Maybe instead I should just post pictures on Picasa (still behind on that too).

In other news, Delhi is warm again! Amazing how it can go from 50 to 80 in a week.

The Juggernaut reference

Some people don't get the reference from the last post, so here's the clip from X-Men 3:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8Z5iL3358Q


The Juggernaut was also parodied in this long 9-minute video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSuvOVH0aSQ

I actually don't think this video is funny (I couldn't even finish the first two minutes), but I know some people find it hilarious.

I'm fairly certain it's the latter video that popularized the phrase "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" Seriously, do you guys not remember when EVERYONE was endlessly repeating this?

He's the Juggernaut, bitch! (Orissa, Part I)

This past weekend, I went to Orissa. We had off of work on Tuesday for Republic Day, which is the anniversary of the adoption of the Constitution of India, so I took casual leave on Monday to create a 4-day weekend. Orissa was incredible, despite a few frustrating moments.

Now you know where Orissa is.

We boarded our plane as if it was on time. But it wasn’t--we sat on the tarmac for three hours, waiting for the fog to lift. I don’t understand why they boarded the plane in the first place; it’s not like they didn’t know it was foggy! Obviously they should have boarded only when the visibility was far enough to take off, because it is much more comfortable to be waiting in an airport than on an airplane. But alas, this is India, and as Gandhi says, this is “a country of nonsense.”


When my plane finally arrived in Orissa, my first impression was positive: it’s warm and I can breathe and see blue sky!!


On the bus from Bhubaneswar, the capital of Orissa, to Puri, a beachside town, I sat down next to a middle-aged man and his shy 6-year-old son who tried to hide his face from the scary white foreigner. Before I could slip on my headphones (all that waiting on the tarmac had exhausted me and I wasn’t in the mood to talk), the man started talking to me. He spoke in broken English, and I responded in broken Hindi. So languages were being butchered all around. The man and his son were extremely friendly, in a non-sketchy way, and they invited me to stay in their home in their village. The man, who is the principal of his village’s school, said that his wife would cook traditional Oriya food and his students would give me a tour of “a real Oriya village” (whatever that means). And he wasn’t just saying this—he wouldn’t let me get off the bus without giving me his phone number first, in case I ever venture near his village! This man’s hospitality is a perfect example of why I fell in love with India in the first place. A visit to his village would have been awesome, but unfortunately the village was kind of far, and as you’ll read in a later blog post, there was a bandh* threat.


*If you don’t know what a bandh is by now, you have not been reading my blog and/or have never heard my “escape from Sikkim” story. In any case, here is a definition, one last time: a bandh is a “general strike.” Everything—and I mean EVERYTHING, from shops to restaurants to roads—is closed.


When I arrived in Puri, I went straight to the beach. I hadn’t seen a major body of water since July, so I was in desperate need of breathing in the salty sea breeze and staring off to the horizon. After satisfying these needs, I headed to Jagannath Temple in town.


Bay of Bengal


On my way to the temple, I passed by a wedding procession, and I saw something I've never seen before: a cycle-train of men playing instruments in cages. It very much reminded me of a traveling circus.


cycle-train of musicians in a wedding procession


caged man playing a drum


caged man playing a keyboard


Jagannath Temple, built in the 11th century, is a Hindu pilgrimage site and represents the east in the Char Dham (4 abodes of God, one in each direction). Lord Jagannath is “a part of Vishnu,” according to one Brahmin (priest). I asked if he meant one of Vishnu's many manifestations or forms, but he said no, "a part." But then when I looked up Jagannath online, I found that he is a form of Krishna, who himself is an avatar of Vishnu (at least according to Vaishnavism). So I don't really know who Jagannath is, other than Orissa's deity of choice. Also, he is often represented with huge eyes (at least in Orissa). Non-Hindus are not allowed inside Jagannath Temple, so I went to the roof of Raghunandan Library, across the street, to steal a view.


entrance to Jagannath Temple


view through the entrance (thank you camera zoom!)

mustachioed lions, this one crushing an elephant, protect the entrances of many temples in Orissa (this one is not Jagannath Temple but is nearby)


view of Jagannath Temple from the roof of Raghunandan Library


view of Puri's busy streets from Raghunandan Library


The English word “juggernaut” comes from Jagannath. I think the origins are a British misunderstanding of the Rath Yatra festival. During Rath Yatra, three humongous chariots carrying three deities (Jagannath and his siblings Balarama and Subhadra) are pushed through the streets of Puri. The British believed that these chariots crushed everything and everyone in their paths—they were unstoppable. And so the word “juggernaut” came to mean something that is unstoppable. I was sort of hoping someone would yell “He's the Juggernaut, bitch!” but given the probably nonexistent popularity of X-Men 3 in Puri outside of CT Road (where all the foreign backpackers hang out), that did not happen.

New blog feature: Labels

Check out the Labels in the right-hand sidebar. Now you can look for past posts by category! Very exciting, I know.

Reminders of home ...sort of.

To state the obvious, India and the US are different in almost every way. But sometimes I am surprised at how much certain things remind me of home. Here's a partial list of these things:

1. Tiffin roti = shmurah matzah

At TERI, you can order a tiffin for lunch. This food is supposedly "home-cooked" and delivered to TERI in neat lunchboxes called tiffins. It's a pretty good deal, because it's a lot of food for only 35 rupees, or 75 American cents. A tiffin looks like this (image taken from Google Images, not my own):


Each section of the tiffin comes with a different food. TERI's tiffin service gives us four compartments. One has plain white rice, two have subzi (vegetables)--usually one rajma (kidney beans), daal (lentils), or chole (chickpeas) and one mix veg, aloo gobhi (potato and cauliflower), kofta (veg ball), or paneer--and one has a yogurty desert. My favorite subzi combination, of course, is daal and paneer. Yum!

The tiffin also comes with 4 small roti (flat round bread). These roti are less than yum, unfortunately. Today, I finally figured out what this particular roti tastes like: shmurah matzah. For those of you who don't know what shmurah matzah is, it's like super-duper-kosher circular matzah (bread that doesn't rise, looks like a big cracker) that tastes like crunchy burnt cardboard. Delicious? Well, this roti tastes like that, minus the crunchiness. (Note: usually roti is quite good. It is just this tiffin.)

2. Autorickshaws = Mario Kart

My brother Ben pointed this one out to me. We were riding in an auto from CP (Connaught Place) back to Jangpura, and he said, "Riding in an auto is like being inside a Mario Kart game. You try to get ahead of everyone else, dodge and weave in and out of other vehicles, and the background moves at about the same speed. I feel like I should throw a banana peel on the road!" (Don't worry, Mom, he didn't.)

3. Bollywood = Hollywood

You may think Bollywood should remind me more of Broadway due to the extended dance scenes. But I'm not really talking about the movies here, because I think they actually are quite different. Instead, I'm referring to the media's love for Bollywood "heros and heroines." The public is just as obsessed with celebrities here as at home, and the paparazzi is just as insane.

4. Auto pimps = actual pimps

Because both auto pimps and actual pimps control corners. See a previous post about Jangpura.

5. Cricket = Baseball

They both involve a bat, and they're both boring.

6. Will = Josh

I have been trying to figure out for months who Will reminds me of. Friday night I went to see a Bollywood movie with him, and it hit me: he's an Indian version of my cousin Josh! I can't put my finger on why; he's not a Cubs fan (in fact I would be shocked if he's seen even one baseball game--he doesn't even like India's baseball equivalent!), he doesn't want to be a doctor, he doesn't handle the cold well, etc. I think maybe he kind of looks like him. ...but Indian.

7.
Diwali = Chanukah

Ok, not really, but both are called "Festival of Lights." That has to count for something.

I might add to this list as I think of more things that remind me of home. Or, more likely, I'll totally forget about it.
To any fellow expats reading this, I would love to hear what random things remind you of home!